Monday, March 17, 2014

The Things We Just Do



It’s nice to be home.  I returned yesterday afternoon to heavy winds, low temperatures (in the low 30’s), light snow flakes falling, and a car packed with men’s clothing.  

I spent ten days at my Mom’s in Texas; taking care of her and helping with going through my Dad’s clothing while my sister traveled to Washington D.C. for work.  My sister lives less than 2 minutes from my Mom’s place, she’s the primary care taker, I’m the back up when I’m not already committed to work. 

My Dad was a retired military man, and an Aviation Consultant who traveled all over the world.  His closet and dresser held many pieces of clothing, really nice casual and business attire; from all over the world.  When my Mom asked me to help go through his clothing, I would have never thought he had more clothing than a woman………..but he did.  Mom and I spent hours going through Dad’s clothes in the closet and dresser.  While going through Dad’s clothes, Mom and I reminisced, telling old stories about Dad.  We both laughed and cried a little, realizing how much Dad will be missed.  Mom wanted me to take most of Dad’s clothes back home for my guys; to see if they would like to add any of these clothing items to their closets or dressers. 

I bagged 4 large black contractor garbage bags of clothing, and several brown grocery bags, into the trunk of my rental car to haul home. 

My visit with Mom was really nice. I was able to help her around the house with numerous chores she was not able to do herself; and take care of paperwork needing completed--for things like a permanent handicap placard and bills.  I took her out a couple of days, and pushed her around in her wheel chair, from one store to another, so she could find new clothes or items needed for the house.  We went from one store to another, Mom sitting, and me walking and pushing her.  My feet were killing me, ankles swollen, and I couldn’t wait to get back to Mom’s house to take my shoes off and relax. 

When we finally finished shopping, I pulled up to Mom’s house and started unloading the car, and got Mom situated inside the house.  That’s when I took off my shoes and thought, I would go outside in the back yard and sit down on the edge of the pool; and soak my feet in the pool for a while and just relax.   OMG……I will have you know the temperature in the water was 50 degrees or colder.  There was no way I could sit down and let my feet soak for 10 minutes or so.  I stood on the steps of the pool for 3 minutes, and then had to pull my feet out.   The cold water relaxed my painful feet, I thought of just jumping in the pool, but told myself there would be no one around to pull me out if I jumped in and went into shock.  I climbed up the step of the pool to dry my feet with a towel, and returned inside the house to find out what else Mom needed help with.

The dark stone bottom of the pool is just beautiful.


I guess the moral to my post is to cherish every minute possible with your parents; they’re not always going to be around.

Have you called your Mom or Dad lately or visited them?

25 comments:

  1. Glad you got to spend time with your Mom :)

    Now for the real questions...

    1. Are those your feet or did you kidnap a Hobbit? It must be the light but they look hairy.... :)

    2. I hate cold water. I could jump into a group of guys swinging clubs at me faster than a cold body of water.

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    1. PP,
      I'm happy to have spent time with my mom.

      Those are my feet and ankles swollen from being on them all day. I kidnapped a gorilla, lol......

      We used to swim in Lake Superior and that water was really cold but then again, I was a kid.

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  2. Sandy, i cherished every moment with both my parents. I have started going through and giving my dad's clothes away to friends of the family who may be in need. He still had clothes that had tags on them. I feel I will be reliving severe loss soon with JUGM's parents. I have experience in the loss of both parents and they are getting up there in age, but they are all I have no for parents.

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    1. Senior,

      I'm happy to hear you cherished every moment with your parents. It's hard, we all think when were young there's plenty of time. Before we know it, time just passes us by. My dad had clothes with tags too.

      I so hear you on your spouses parents, my in laws are up there in age too. No matter whose parents in a relationship, it's still very hard. Give your Sweet Wife a hug for me.

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  3. Sweet Sandy, I'm glad you were able to do this with your Mom and help her process through all of that. Sadly, 2nd Man and I have both lost both sets of parents (and now Grandparents). My Dad's loss, and my Mom's for that matter, were so sudden but I'm grateful that my last words to them were "I love you, I'll see you later". And it's true. Someday we will all be seeing each other again, so that's later right?

    Big hugs to you and your loved ones. Hope your men find something they'll love to wear.

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    1. 1st Man,

      I'm sorry to hear both you and 2nd Man have lost both sets of parents and grandparents. It's hard, you know it's part of life but always wish you had more time with them. In the end, we all will be together (later).

      The guys went through the bags of clothing and found use for everything.

      Sending hugs to you and 2nd Man.

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  4. Oh Sandy not very long ago I had to go through this same step and I know the feelings that churn over and over during and after. I am sending you big hugs to you and your Mom all of your family and yes it is so true take every moment you can. More hugs B

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    1. B,

      I know you've gone through (and still are) going through these emotions as I am. Your hugs are so appreciated!!!!
      I'm sending hugs and love to you and yours.

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  5. Sandy,
    I am glad you are in a position to help your Mom. My Mom is very independent although I finally talked her into moving to our property. She very seldom asks for help with anything. I try to be observant and do things for her but it's hard to "see" things she needs when I am so busy myself.

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    1. Mamma Bear,

      It's hard when our parents (Mom's) are independent (and stubborn at times) to accept help. I try to help when I can, sometimes it's hard because I'm busy with my own family. I think our parents (or Mom's) realize we not only have our immediate family, and animals to take care, and they try not to ask for help when they really do need it. I'm happy to hear your Mom has moved to your property. She's close, this way you can keep an eye on her and she won't even know it :-)

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  6. Sweet Sandy - i am so glad that you were able to go down and help your Mom deal with something as emotionally charging/draining as going through all of your Dad's things. i am also glad that you got her out of the house a few times and i am sure she enjoyed all of her time spent with you. i am sorry your feet were so sore and swollen....but listen lady, our warmest water here is about 50 degrees and we swim in it. naked! bahahahahahah! i hope that now that you are home that you will be able to relax a little and soak your feet in some hot water for the next few nights. have a bath and a cup of tea at least. what you have been through this past several months has not been easy and i just hope that you will take care of yourself.

    you and yours are always in our thoughts and prayers. much love hon. your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Sweet Kymber,

      I try to help Mom when I can, sometimes I feel it may not be enough.
      Going through Dad's clothing was some what therapeutic for both of us.
      We laughed, cried, and told stories about Dad. I think he knew we were talking about him, lol..........

      Girl, I used to swim in that cold water up in Lake Superior years ago (when I was a child of course with no brains). Now that I'm "OLDER"............and smarter (or have the brains) I don't want to even try jumping in the cold water.

      I do need to start taking care of myself first, then other family members.

      Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, love you both.
      Your Friend,
      Sandy

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  7. I am sure this wasn't an easy thing to do, but I am also glad you got to spend this time with your mom...Time is so very short...I am sure she appreciates all you have done...Take care and thinking of you!

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    1. HL,

      No it wasn't easy at all. I will say, it was helpful though to deal with built up emotions. Time is short, we all need to appreciate the time we do have with loved ones. Thank you for your kind words and warm thoughts.

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  8. Sandy, I am so happy you had this special time with your Mom. May you hold on to this time in your heart and your head forever.
    One of the negative things to having been born to a mature couple is that they must depart the Earth while you, and your own children might still be fairly young. Both of my parents have gone on ahead. Sometimes, I may not hear their cheers, but I feel their cheers when I achieve something that would have pleased them. Tight hugs to you in this challenging time.

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    1. Jane,

      Thank you, I'm going to remember these times :-)

      Please know your parents are always there with you in spirit.
      Your hugs are so appreciated.

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  9. Welcome home : )
    I have some boxes of my dads clothes put in my shop that my mom sent me. But I do wish she wouldn't have. Glad you had the time with your mom.

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    1. Michaele,

      It's so good to be home, thank you!!!!

      The boys went through the clothes, and split them up for wearing.
      We have a couple of pieces my mom would like me to sale at our yard sale were going to have later this spring.

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  10. Sandy I walked down the same path as you (just a few months ahead of you). Thanks for posting part of this journey of losing a parent and the healing steps of bonding in sorrow with your mom. When I returned home, I tried to post, just couldn't put it into words as eloquently as you did. Thanks so much for sharing with us Sandy. Sending love your way today! Gammy Tammy

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    1. Gammy Tammy,

      Good to see you, I haven't seen you in a while!!!

      Please know my heart goes out to you, and I have you in my prayers. This walk we both are going through is a difficult walk.

      It was very hard for me to post about my dad's passing, and my mom's surgery, recovery, and her dealing with the lose of her husband. I just let the words roll off of my chest in hopes the words would help me a little with the healing process.
      Your Friend,
      Sandy

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    2. I know... I'm finding it difficult to multitask as I once did. That, and I'm just exhausted at the end of the day. (trying to start up an art business). How did I ever raise 3 kids by myself, I'll never know. (smile)

      I've been playing catch up the last couple of days and have been both overjoyed and saddened over the news that I've missed in the last month or two.

      I promise I'll try harder to manage my time better so that I don't lose touch with my favorite bloggers.

      Hugs to you!!!

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  11. Sandy, it wonderful you can give your sister a break and spend such wonderful time with your mom. You are so right about cherishing the moments we are given. Once they're gone we can never recover them again. But do have our memories.

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    1. Leigh,

      Our family has always been very close. I try to help when I can, I know my sister truly needs to have time for herself.

      We all must cherish the time we have with family because time does go by so fast.

      I have to agree once a family member passes on their gone, we have memories. We also have the presence of their spirit watching over us.

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss, but happy that you were able to spend some time with your Mom, remembering things about your Dad, and being able to share with us. Hugs.

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  13. Carolyn,

    Thank you so much my friend for your sweet words. It was nice to spend time with mom and reminisce about dad.

    I'm on my way to your place for some pork chops!!!! LOL

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